Pomponio "Interview Lifesaver."

WISE GUYS COOKING Tony Pomponio The Interview

Wise Guys Cooking Open DISALVO Let’s welcome our band leader Tony Pomponio. TONY Frank I’m happy to be here. DISALVO You were telling me your first big interview here, in this country, was a very interesting experience. TONY After my first wife left me because I had no money, I tried to get a job with one of the guys my friend said was a big shot and if I got the job it would pay a lot of money. DISALVO He was a big shot? What do you mean? TONY What I mean is he was a business man from the WestSide of Chicago and just got out of jail, but he said the charges against him were false and that he should have never done jail time.

DISALVO What was he charged with? TONY There was a rumor going around that he was smuggling accordions from Italy. I should have known better. DISALVO Accordions? TONY He was a very dapper man, always dressed like he was going somewhere important, like a wedding or a funeral. DISALVO What was his name? TONY I remember it was very unusual. (thinking) His name was Vito “B flat” Facchini. DISALVO Vito “B” Flat Facchini? TONY He seemed like a good guy, since you know I play the accordion and B Flat is one of my favorite keys.

DISALVO Go on. TONY Well we met in an Italian delicatessen on the South Side. It was called Tony Viola’s Deli. DISALVO Tony Viola’s Deli. TONY I never ate there before. I was very nervous, I figured this was my big break. I could get into the Accordion business and make lot’s of money. DISALVO So what happened? TONY Like a said I was very nervous. So I needed to relax before B Flat walked in. I went to the counter and bought some lifesavers. You know the one’s with the holes, so I popped one in my mouth and started to suck on one. I think it was white peppermint. DISALVO A white peppermint Lifesaver? TONY Just then “B Flat” walks in and sees me at the table. This is my big chance Frank, I’m going to break into big time accordion sales.

DISALVO I didn’t know there was a demand for accordions. TONY Like I said I was very nervous. So I introduced my self. If I recall he had a white shirt with a black tie. Frank I was very nervous, this was my first interview with someone who was considered a “big shot.” DISALVO So tell us what happened. TONY Well, I think he liked me but I think I made a big mistake. DISALVO What kind of mistake. TONY Well I told Vito “B” Flat that I loved accordions, and I could help him with his business. DISALVO Go ahead. TONY You know Frank how you get real nervous and sometime you talk to fast, well I was talking so fast, my tongue got caught between my upper front teeth, I tried to slow done but it was to late.

DISALVO I’m interested. What happened that was too late. TONY I said I was talking so fast that my tongue got stuck in the lifesaver hole, as I tried to get it switched around in my mouth, it flew out like a rocket and landed on Vito “B’ Flat’s beautiful black tie. DISALVO No. TONY Yes, B Flat looked at me, he looked at his beautiful black tie, then he looked At me again, and I looked at my Lifesaver on his tie, and it began sliding down. DISALVO No Tony don’t tell me. TONY I’m telling you Frank. The lifesaver slid down and left a big white streak on his tie. I thought I was dead meat.

DISALVO Well did you get the job? TONY No I didn’t get the job. DISALVO Have you seen Vito “B” Flat since then? TONY You know, shortly after my Life Saver incident, I read the newspapers and there it was a headline, that a guy by the name of John “No Nose” DiFonzi was arrested for dumping Vito B Flats body in the Chicago River. DISALVO The Chicago River? TONY Yea Frank, they found him floating in the river with the black suit, a white shirt with a black tie. The coroner said the stain looked like someone had spit on Life Saver on his tie.